On the recommendation of a friend who shall remain - Mao Mao - Buy Reservations
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🤮 1/5 - On the recommendation of a friend who shall remain
By 👻 @Ash S., 06/04/2022 3:00 am
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On the recommendation of a friend who shall remain nameless, :cough: Louis, my friends and I, minus ironically Louis, came to Mao Mao after a rather rude Uber ride. The place is sort of hidden around the corner of desolate and graffiti riddled storefronts. Word of warning: it's a super dark place like literally. It's like they haven't paid their light bill and are relying on dim candlelight. It's a lot like in the movies where the main character visits an opium den. It's the Thai restaurant version of a movie opium den. The interior was what I can only describe as eclectic eccentricity. The seats were a mix of bar stools, darkly painted children's chairs, and plush movie seats. The tables are so low, there is basically no space between it and the floor. Our group was originally 10 but only 5 came. Perhaps those 5 knew the real deal about Mao Mao.We kind of had 2 servers, a male and female, both faux friendly and full of polite and insulting condensation. Props to authenticity because the menu was in Thai, the descriptions were in English, and there were no pictures. Actually, the descriptions and no pictures were all rendered moot because there was NO LIGHT to read it properly!To the food, we all had various plates of white rice and pork. I had minced pork with basil sauce and rice. I asked them to make it spicy, they didn't. Also, I barely tasted any of the sauce. Then again, I probably couldn't see it because, you know, no light! The plate was small for a "large" plate and my other friend, who only got a "small" plate, was very surprised when she got hers on a plate usually reserved to be placed on the bottom of teacups. It cost $11. Mine cost $15.Perhaps this a Thai thing or maybe they're afraid of a violent uprising because of the miniscule amount of food and their abhorrent behavior but what the hell is up with the plastic plates and forks with no knives? Like, dudes, I'm in a damn restaurant not a backyard barbecue! Wait, let me take it back, in every backyard barbecue I've been to, I was given a plastic fork AND a KNIFE. It wasn't worth it. My food was very lackluster. As of right now, about an hour and a half later, I'm hungry. I wish I gotten pizza. To make matters worse, they added gratuity for our group of 5. According to the cold and condescending waitress, they do that with everyone including solo diners. Really? For one person? To get charged 20% gratuity? And have the audacity to ask for an additional tip? Sorry, I'm not about that life and neither are my friends. Overall, I think this place gets cred for being authentic Thai and gets to treat its patrons however the hell it wants. Mao Mao isn't worth the trip, isn't worth the money, and isn't worth the time.
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