On a rare night out with the wife, we thought Uni could be - Uni Boston - Buy Reservations
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🤮 1/5 - On a rare night out with the wife, we thought Uni could be
By 👻 @Trevor S., 12/04/2023 3:00 am
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On a rare night out with the wife, we thought Uni could be magical. We love sushi. We're happy to splurge on our time together. The rub is this place is gas station takeout quality for Michelin star prices. We did the omakase. Thinking they know the best stuff. They upsell you on a better one, which should have been a sign that this is more a marketing effort than a culinary effort. But we did it. The first course was these "uni spoons". It's sea urchin and raw egg yolk. It's gilding the lily with can't miss ingredients, so sure it was great. Oddly for a very expensive signature item that the waiter made sure to hype up, it came in a dingy little plain spoon. Perhaps somebody in the kitchen thought this was elegant simplicity. To me it just seemed like somebody had nicked the silverware from a public school dumpster. Not to judge a book by the cover, but it was a real sign that something's off with this place. Note to self: Next time I'm paying through the nose for a hyped up restaurant and something is so clearly slipshod right from the start, just walk out. Let them sucker somebody else in. Thus started a parade of dishes that went from mediocre to bland. Hamachi, one of my favorite fish, came out as a rubbery square with a pear (?). It tasted like... pear. Oysters came with some sort of pomegranate thing that ruined the oysters. Not a good sign when you just scrape it off to try and enjoy the oysters. A tataki seemed like they tried to sear the edges gently with a torch, but was just dry and cooked. Lots of the food seemed to have been kept under a heat lamp. From the wontons with some gross sweet thing inside that had crumbly pasta pulling away from soggy bags that had clearly been left in the broth too long. A plate of four types of fish was all equally bland and dry. And they don't even use sushi rice. I get the impression there's an attempt to be creative, but really they're just getting ahead of their skis. The guys bringing you dishes mumble through a description while avoiding eye contact. They tell you basically nothing. One described our scallops as "madai" which is not the Japanese word for it. Why not just use the English word? Kind of shows the lack of care the staff takes with the whole thing. Each course came out wham-bam one after the other, making it hard to even talk never mind slowly enjoy things. I get you're trying to turn the table, but don't be so damn obvious about it. And then the bill comes. We're pondering if we should salvage our rare evening together by going somewhere nearby. And staring at that bill made me a bit angry. If you're going to charge Michelin star prices, at the very least don't suck. But it's just treating me like a money cow, happy to chomp on dry hay and still willing to squirt that sweet milk of money out of my udder. Do yourself a favor. If you want the Uni experience then just go to Grubhub, sort by star rating, and get yourself the cheapest one star available. If you want sushi go somewhere else.
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